25 Things That Keep Me Up at Night


I’m sure my lack of sleep lately has nothing to do with the fact that my diet is awful and late night cocktails are a terrible idea during the week. It’s more likely that these things are keeping me up at night. What keeps you up?

1.       Why did Ryan Seacrest change his hairstyle? Dick Clark never did.

2.       Why is Downton Abbey in its final season (it’s not fair). It’s just like LOST all over again.

3.       Walking Dead gives me panic attacks every Sunday night. If they kill off Daryl I will stop watching it.

4.       Krispy Kreme is not putting enough filling in their donuts.

5.       Wondering what I am going to do when I win the lottery. Wonder how many people will come out of the woodwork to be my friend then?

6.       People who have pissed me off this week.

7.       The sound of Big Daddy’s CPAP machine when it’s not sealed. Sounds like Darth Vader. Wonder if I can wrap that tube around his neck..

8.       Spiders might get me while I sleep.

9.       Hot flashes

10.   Having to pee 5 times from drinking that margarita after 8pm.

11.   Is there a clown under my bead?

12.   What am I going to make for dinner tomorrow night?

13.   Did I turn off the stove?

14.   Did I forget to let the dog in?

15.   Are my kids over their data usage?

16.   Why can’t there be a better cable company that doesn’t cost as much as a car payment each month?

17.   What if the internet and all the power in the world goes out and doesn’t come back on?

18.   Tornadoes

19.   What if Snopes got it wrong and that email was for real?

20.   Why hasn’t anyone cured cancer yet?

21.   I’m never going to retire.

22.   Why do people believe Zillow? They have never even been inside your house.

23.   The dog has gas so bad. I guess that answers question #14.

24.   Why are people so stupid? So many of them.

25.   What was that noise?

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