The Month of May is a Life Sucker. 

It’s the month of May. Better known as the worst month ever before summer starts. All the shit we parents have to get through during May is horrible. Like teacher appreciation week. Teacher appreciation should be renamed “here’s your Starbucks gift card day”. Let’s make it better by adding gift cards to the liquor store. I mean they did get through the year without killing your kid. Don’t they deserve some booze for that? And wouldn’t that make the gift giving much easier than baking brownies?

Also, we midlifers are going to tons of graduation ceremonies this Month and some are held outside in 90 degree heat where we get to see our graduates walk for a simple piece of paper that we worked hard for 12+ years. (We parents worked way harder than our kids did for this) If you pass out from the heat then you miss it. Some ceremonies are held indoors where they pack you in like sardines. The AC can’t cool the place enough and it ends up feeling like a sweat box. Good times.

Wait. Let’s go back to Mother’s Day, also in May, and relive that nightmare. It’s your day mom! But yet we end up “celebrating” all day with our kids. Wha? Didn’t the hubby go away for a golf WEEKEND last Father’s Day? Are you kidding me?

May is also the month of Cinco de Mayo. No complaints on that one. If you’re a teacher just use that gift card to the liquor store. And if you’re a mom and haven’t given that gift card to your kids teacher yet, well, you know…
Then we have Memorial Day. A day we’re supposed to remember those who died serving our country. We have turned that into a weekend at the beach, lake or mountains and forget what the holiday actually means. Just another weekend to plan a trip or cookout while we are exhausted from all the events we’ve been through during the entire month of May!

I don’t think I have the energy for June. I bet if we googled it we’d find that wine sales are at their highest in May. So let’s take a breather. Let’s not let the month of May suck the life out of us! Let’s start a resistance! Never mind. That takes too much energy too. Guess I just need to suck it up and be an adult. I can make up for it in June. Oh wait, Fathers Day golf trip weekend is coming up in June and I hear the men are going to turn a weekend into a week. Kill. Me. Now.

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