What a Real Mother’s Day Looks Like

If you think Mother’s Day is all about relaxing and the rest of the family pampering mom, you are high. No, seriously. Let’s walk through my Mother’s Day. 

8:00 am: We get up and get ready to drive down to visit my mom and grandmother (who is 98 by the way). College kid has been yelled at 3 times to get up.

8:45 am: Older kid arrives at our house, on-time and ready. College kid is still trying to figure out life and I pray he at least brushes his teeth and finds his deodorant. 

8:55 am: We make it out the door, I ask for hubby to take a picture of me with my boys so I can post it on social media and look like a perfect mom. Kids grumble. I use the F word and we finally get this:

9:05 am: we finally get in the car and drive. Kids fall asleep. Husband starts yawning and I think it’s Mother’s Day morning and my anxiety meds are not working yet.

10:35 am: my dad texts to see where we are. We are 10 minutes from their house. He does this every time we are visiting or meeting them somewhere. He has no patience either.

10:55 am: we arrive at my parents house then argue about where we are going for Mother’s Day Lunch. We end up at a buffet place 25 miles away. It’s me, my mom and dad, my brother (no pictures of him, he is in the witness protection plan or something) my kids and Big Daddy (hubby). 

My dad and I argue who is going to pay for lunch. I told him it was my treat for mother’s day and he cops an attitude. My brother is just glad he doesn’t have to pay. My mother acts like we are one big happy fully functional and normal family. (Apparently her meds have kicked in).

They seat us (7 of us) at a table meant for 4. Oh this is just too much. But we get through it. Food is good. They actually had cornbread on the buffet the way my grandmother used to make it. Why is everyone and their cousin at this place at 11:30? Why aren’t they in church? I threaten to take one of college kids crutches to knock people out of the way. People are so freaking rude!

We finish, and head to the nursing home to visit grandmother. Another 15 miles away. Kids are starting to complain they need to get back home soon to see the Carolina Hurricanes play at 3pm. It’s mother’s day. Do they really think a quick lunch is all they have to do?

We reach the nursing home. As we are walking down the hallway to my grandmother’s room, I notice most of the women residents are alone. I try to smile and wave as I past each room. Where are their kids and grandkids? 

Grandmother is happy to see us all. She’s 98 and still got it going on. We move to a large gathering room so we can all gather around and visit. Grandmother can’t hear well so there is lots of shouting. My dad can’t hear and I can’t hear and it’s a giant Cluster-Muck. 

Three generations of women:

Please don’t tell her that her bra strap is showing. It took 15 minutes for the picture she wanted. Damn. I just noticed College kids crutches in the back ground. lol

My kids with Gma:

I used to be the favorite grandchild but I think she likes them better than me now. Still showing that bra strap. 

My mom and I are trying to take a selfie and can’t stop laughing. We are crying because we cannot figure out how to both look decent and hide our double chins. So this is the best we have:

Finally we say goodbye, hugs and kisses. Then head back home. Where my kids immediately ditch me and head to older kids house to watch the game. My hubby and I watch the game alone in the quiet. While the dog is running around trying to lick the lotion off my legs again. 

So no, it’s not breakfast in bed or brunch out with mimosas. It’s not family time playing board games where everyone is having fun and being nice. But it’s my family, my insane and crazy family. I love them all. But I thank God for anxiety meds. 

To all the moms…Cheers! Your work is never done but that’s ok. You knew that when you got knocked up. 

To all those who’s moms have passed on. Enjoy the memories. Maybe visit a nursing home and spread some joy to the older moms who’s kids can’t visit or don’t want to deal with it.

Life is short. No time to feel sorry for yourself. And you can stop buying those Hallmark Cards that cost $10.00. Just a little bunch of flowers or lunch out at the buffet will work. 

Cheer’s Y’all!