I’m Not Gonna Pray for That.

Not Gonna Pray About That.

This past weekend my oldest (Thing 1) took me to see John Crist in New Bern, NC. If you aren’t familiar with him, he’s a Christian comedian. But he really pushes the limits in his comedy. The setting was Temple Baptist Church and it was a packed house!

Let me start by saying, if you aren’t somewhat familiar with the bible, you might not get the jokes. John Crist has a gift for making fun of Christianity and Christians in a most brilliant way. He was raised up in the church, his dad was a pastor and he is one of 7 or 8 kids. How could he not be funny?

Let me set the tone though. My parents lived in New Bern once-upon-a-time. But I haven’t visited there in over 25 years. I obviously don’t know my way around anymore. My son was driving and we totally ended up in the shady section of downtown. We were laughing so hard because we knew we were on the verge of being carjacked at any given moment. We did finally drive past the Tryon Palace and had dinner at the most awesome little outside patio grill, The Grill at Prohibition. Great food and everyone was sitting outside with their pooches. It was in the 70’s and felt great.

We cruised back through downtown and to the church. I thought we’d be a little early and get a good seat. Instead we were met with hundreds of people waiting in line to get in! It’s a church for crying out loud! But John has some fans for sure. People were there from as far away as Maryland.

The show starts and I have never seen my son laugh as hard as he did the entire time. Days later and my face still hurts from laughing. You should check out this guys videos on YouTube. He did videos during the show and one of himself and another comedian driving though downtown New Bern, right where we had thought we’d be carjacked. lol They actually stopped to talk to a guy drinking on the side of a building. So flipping funny. John asked the audience where was a great place to visit and the audience assured him the Courthouse should be on his bucket list. Seriously? lol

But throughout the show I could see how ADHD and brilliant this guy is. His mind is racing and he turns everything you thought you understood about the bible into relatable parables matching todays culture. Including prayer.

You thought I’d never get to my point did you? lol Well if you are a church goer, you know how the prayer requests work. The Pastor gets up there and asks if there are any prayer requests from the congregation. (You know he hates this part) Can you think of any strange requests that made you think, “Nope. Not gonna pray for that”? lol John Crist talked about that for awhile. He referred to a major flood and folks were asking him to pray for a friend with a multi-million dollar home that it wouldn’t flood. He was like, Nope. But I’ll pray for the cheaper homes around it so they don’t flood. lol

Reminds me of some requests I’ve heard in my lifetime. Like how Aunt Barbara has a sore throat, pray for her. Or John’s wife’s second cousin twice removed had a wart that wouldn’t go away till they had it “talked off” keep her in your prayers. And even the day I nearly lost my religion when someone in the congregation asked us all to pray for a friend who had bad vagina that was bleeding and how much pain and itchiness it was causing this person. It went on and on and on….lol NOPE. And yes she actually said VAGINA in church!

Folks, prayer is not a Christmas list. Nor should it be wasted on a blood blister or splinter in a foot. God must be up there going, “prayers for the flood victims, the hungry, the mentally ill, the very sick, children…wait, one for Becky who wants her son’s basketball team to win? NOPE. Or for Bob who wants to win the lottery? Nope. Get your prayers together folks.

Anyhoo, we had a great time. Getting away with your kids or hubby for some fun time is a must and keeps you healthy. In the meantime, I’ll pray for you!

Peace Love and Margaritas

10 thoughts on “I’m Not Gonna Pray for That.

  1. I have such a hard time with people who use social media for prayers and praising, for things that truly don’t require God’s intervention! For example, the friend who praised God because she got home from work before a big storm hit. No, dear, that’s you looking out the window, seeing the big dark clouds, and using some logic. God would be disappointed if you hadn’t used your brain.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 🤣 I laughed way too hard at this. Please pray for me as I think I wet myself. And I’m in car line at school and a woman keeps walking past 🤣 she is power walking at school. 🤪🤣

    Liked by 1 person

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