How to Host an Untraditional Christmas Celebration During A Shitstorm of a Year Like 2020

Christmas is not cancelled. It’s just going to be a bit untraditional with a side of shitshow cornbread this year. I’m going to walk you through a stress free and Covid-19 safe awesome holiday for 2020. YOU are going to love it!

1. Tell the family not to come over this year or that you won’t be showing up at their house. Covid is the perfect excuse not to have to clean, prep and create a beautiful dinner of turkey, ham, collards, cornbread and what ever hellish fatty food you usually eat at these shindigs.
2. Bazinga! You just saved money on the cleaning lady, grocery bill and hairstylist. (why bother with a new cut/color if you are not going to see anyone.) You’re welcome!
3. If you have kids living at home, you will need to still feed them. Sorry. Mine are in college/grown and don’t live at home. (I’m a poet and didn’t even know it!)
4. If no one is coming over, why bother with the big dinner? So traditional and over done anyway. Bojangles is open for Christmas as well as some pizza places. Take advantage! Use Door Dash or Uber Eats to have them delivered to your front porch! Now you don’t even have to leave the house!
5. Did you decorate for the holidays? Have fun and take pics of you and whoever else is in your house, posing with different ornaments or displays and spend the day posting on social and tagging friends. Captions like, “I hate we are not together this year!” or “It’s just not the same without all the family!” and this is my fav, “Next year we can be together again and go hard with Christmas!” (Not gonna happen).
6. No drunk relatives! Unless you want to get sloshed and not have to worry about saying the wrong thing to Uncle Dave or worry about offending Grandma or watching cousin Joe hit on second cousin Karen. Geesh. Family.
7. Wear your PJ’s all day or go crazy and loose the pants at least. Whose gonna know? Just tell the relatives that your zoom is broken so you won’t be able “see” them at noon and share a zoom lunch. Coz one more zoom call is just want everyone wants for Christmas.
8. Naps. I know Grandpa can nap from a chair with a room full of drunk relatives around but to be able to eat then head to the bedroom to nap for the day is like the best gift of all. Am I right? No one will judge you or complain about the snoring or take pictures of you asleep on the couch with all of Aunt Donna’s cats on your lap and put it on Facebook.
9. No one demanding a family picture. You just did that at Thanksgiving. No one has changed since then.
10. You don’t have to drive to or from any destination. Nor do you have to be in an airplane. Just kickback in the recliner and count your Christmas blessings!
11. You did it! You made it through the shitstorm of 2020. No stress, no mess. Now just repeat for New Years Eve. Enjoy because next year you might not be able to relax again. But at least you will have ended 2020 with a BANG! Or loud snore…..

Now here’s a Classic Christmas Video to get you in the spirit of not having to leave your house and seeing those friends and relatives for at least 2 holidays! Enjoy!

Merry Christmas from Midlife Margaritas 🙂