Gorilla Wars 2016

So here is the video. Shot by a person at the zoo where a 4 year-old child fell into the enclosure of an endangered gorilla named Harambe. I warn you it’s pretty hard to watch especially if you’re a parent. This happened over the weekend at the Cincinnati Zoo. Can you even fathom this? I… Continue reading Gorilla Wars 2016

Hot Dogs and Birthday Cake

birthdayhotdogMy co-worker and I put 60 hotdogs in a crock pot at breakfast this morning for a lunch time picnic. There is nothing and I mean NOTHING grosser than the smell of raw hot dogs in the morning. I seriously had to hold it together and not gag so that my co-worker wouldn’t start gagging too. We made it though and at lunch we all had several hotdogs.

The day only gets better. Thing 2 turns 16 tomorrow. 16! How did that happen? Big Daddy made the cake last night (special family recipe) and I think we were hasty putting on the icing. The cake ended up looking like this: cake

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh well. At least it tastes good. And it’s a good day to turn 16. Sorry Thing 2, no car yet. But tomorrow I will tell him his birth story again. Three hours of labor and no epidural… he loves to hear that story every year. We’ll finish the cake and he and his friends will head out to celebrate. Big Daddy and I will clean the kitchen and talk about how fast they are growing up. Pretty soon we will be empty nesters. (Is it wrong if we are looking forward to that?)

The Hot dog story and Thing 2’s birthday are not related except the fact that I had hot dogs and birthday cake in the same day. Anyhoo, enjoy your weekend and find the fun things in your day and relish them. They fly by. But here’s a little video I found on the webs and I laughed so hard I nearly threw up the hot dogs!

 

Things That Scare Me

I have a short list of things that scare terrify me. And it all started with this: oz

A little place in North Carolina that became the first nightmare I can remember. It’s a recreation of the Land of Oz complete with a house falling on the witch’s legs. I can still remember the nightmare of my childhood with striped legs sticking out from under a house. SO thanks mom and dad for that.

This place is now closed to the public (making it oh so much more creepy) and opens about once a year for a few days for people to visit and remember the times they spent there as a child. (yay). In case you are in NC and curious, here is the link to the upcoming event: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/living/travel/article77860247.html

So then I got to thinking what else really scares me and I came up with this fun list:

  1. Spiders. They have a lot of legs so you have no idea which direction they will run. They have millions of baby spiders at one time. (Gross) Oh and they can jump too.toiletspider
  2. Tornados. I think that came from the Oz business.tornado
  3. Bats. Creatures from Hell. One time a bat touched my hair and I nearly peed myself. I was screaming like a lunatic and my neighbors thought my hubby was beating me. I kid you not.bat-demon
  4. Jumping Crickets. Crickets in general are no big deal. But when they can jump over your head in a bathroom and you cannot get away and when you do it’s stuck in your hair. I can’t even.
  5. I am afraid one day my doctor will tell me I can no longer eat gluten foods or shellfish. I. WILL. DIE.shellfishmeme.png
  6. I’m not afraid of the dark but I will admit I run and jump in the bed after the lights are out so that demon under the bed won’t grab my ankles. True story.monsterunderbed

So now you know some of my biggest fears. What are you afraid of?

Suviving Summer with your College Kid

collegekidYou were so sad and proud the day your child graduated from college. You mourned the child that you once carried around on your hip and now he’s all grown up and headed to college. You get through the first semester with him being gone and find your routine again. Maybe you have another child still at home to fill the void of an otherwise quiet house. Things are going smoothly and you are so excited when your college kid moves back in for the summer. Awesome right?

REALITY. He comes home and turns back into a high schooler and you think, “How the hell did he survive his first year away?” THEN you think, “How the hell am I going to survive this summer?”

Here are 7 Tips to help you make it through till fall:

1.       Stock Up On Booze. Unless you are already on anxiety meds. (Do not mix the two, even if tempted). You don’t have to wait till 5 o’clock to have a margarita to relax. Mimosas are a great way to start the day!

2.       Set Boundaries. I’ve read that giving your child a curfew again is demeaning as they have been on their own for a year now. To that I say BS. I don’t care if they live 5 years on their own. I need to know that I can go to sleep and I can’t do that until he’s back in the house at night. Also make sure he understands your grocery bill is going up while he’s home and when you buy stuff he had better not eat it all before anyone else has some. His little brother is now taller than him and can whip his butt if all the chocolate milk is gone before he gets any.

3.       Laundry. O for the love! Laundry just got real again. Have your college kid do his own laundry and do it AFTER the rest of the family. College kid comes last in line to use the washer. Also, same rules as college apply: if you leave your wash unattended their stuff will be thrown on the floor wet so you can get the other stuff in there.

4.       Our House is not a Dorm Room. Yes friends can visit but there is no need to come home from work to 20 guys all over your house eating pizza and playing video games. But they are all welcome to help you do the laundry and clean the kitchen. Hide your booze too.

5.       Make Them Get a Job. Don’t let them say it’s their vacation so they should be resting up and relaxing. They need to make money to help cover those groceries and the booze that you drink to help you cope with them being home.

6.       Girlfriends DO NOT sleep in the same room when visiting. While it’s all great they have relationships and are trying to figure out what marriage might be like, you are not ready to be a grandparent. That’s a whole different set of tips.

7.       Spend Time With Them. Let them know you still love them and want to hang out. Watch Netflix, have cook-outs, go on some trips and have fun. But make it very clear that they have to leave come August and go back to school. Circle of Life peeps, Circle of Life.

Tribute To Moms Keeping It Real

mothers are awesomeHere comes Mother’s Day again. While everyone is out buying cards and flowers and gift cards to the spa for mom, I thought I would post a few tweets in honor of this day. Moms aren’t perfect so I am sure you can relate to some of these:

*Teri Brown ‏@terilynnbrown

I’m off coffee. My kid wound up with an empty sandwich in his lunchbox today. No peanut butter. Just bread. He said he cried.

*Busty Rusty ‏@RaylaRimpson

When my kids can’t find their sports water bottles, they take coffee tumblers to practice.

*Stef Rowe ‏@stefroweNC

Tucker: My lunch was rotten today.

Me: I didn’t pack you a lunch today

Look in backpack. Find Friday’s moldy lunch.

*Marie ‏@lifeontiptoes

Thought it was going to be cold today. Put child in warm clothes. Child over heated and puked on playground.

*Brittney ‏@britt_eisele

Who else has dropped a phone on a baby tryin to take a pic?

*_HumNbyrd_ ‏@_humnbyrd

#parentingfails>>> My son found pancakes in the frig. IDK where they came from. I didn’t stop him from eating them because he was quiet…

Just some random internet pics on Motherhood.

If you can’t find humor as a mom/parent then you are doing it all wrong.