A guest post by Bukky | Coached by Bukky
Alright, pull up a barstool, Midlife Margaritas crew. Frozen or on the rocks — your call. We’re
about to take a sledgehammer to one of the most annoying myths floating around out there.
It’s this one:
“Oh wow… so you’re starting over? Really?”
And you feel it, right? That little gut punch. Like everything you’ve built, every skill you
sharpened, every meeting you survived (I mean…all those meetings), every difficult student
you didn’t strangle — somehow counted for nothing.
Here’s the thing: That’s complete and utter nonsense. And I say that with love. And a lime
on the rim.
You Are Not Starting Over. You Are Starting FROM.
There’s a huge difference, HUGE, and we need to get this straight before you talk yourself
out of something incredible.
Starting over implies you’ve wiped the slate clean. Zero. Nothing. Blank screen. Like you’re
22 again with a ramen budget and absolutely no idea what you’re doing.
That is NOT you.
You are a woman who has:
● Navigated office politics that would make Machiavelli tap out
● Managed budgets, people, projects, and probably your boss’s feelings too
● Built expertise that people actually PAY for (even if you’ve forgotten that)
● Survived more corporate restructures, academic politics, and “synergy”
conversations than any human should have to
That’s not starting over. That’s a launchpad.
The Real Myth? That Your Experience Doesn’t Transfer.
Oh, but honey. It absolutely does.
The woman who spent 20 years in HR knows how to read people, navigate conflict, and
build cultures. She’s not “just” a consultant — she’s a people strategy powerhouse.
The retired school principal? She knows how to lead teams, manage chaos, communicate
with every personality type, and keep 400 children from losing their minds simultaneously.
She could run your entire company before her second cup of coffee.
Is the corporate trainer eyeing her own coaching practice? She’s been coaching people for
years — she just let someone else put their logo on it.
Your expertise didn’t expire when you handed in your badge. It ripened.
Why This Myth Is Especially Cruel to Us
Here’s what gets me a little riled up about this “starting over” narrative: it hits midlife women
the hardest.
We’ve spent decades being underestimated, underpaid, and overlooked for promotions that
went to people half as qualified. And now, when we’re finally ready to back OURSELVES —
when we’re finally done asking permission — the world tries to gaslight us into thinking we
have nothing?
No. Absolutely not. We are not doing that.
The actual starting-over crew? They’re 22. They don’t know what they want to do yet.
They’re figuring out how to be adults.
You’ve already adulted. Aggressively. For decades.
What you’re doing isn’t starting over. It’s redirecting your expertise toward something
that finally makes sense for YOUR life.
So What Do You Actually Need?
No more experience. Not another degree. Not five more years of “just to be sure.”
What you need is direction — a clear path for how to take everything you already know and
turn it into something profitable, aligned, and sustainable.
That’s a different problem than starting over. And it has a much faster solution.
Most of the women I work with don’t have an idea problem. They have a decision problem.
Too many options, too much noise, and not enough clarity on which direction is theirs.
Once we cut through that? The expertise does the heavy lifting.
A Little Reframe Before You Go
The next time someone asks if you’re “starting over,” feel free to do one of the following:
- Laugh warmly and say, “No, I’m starting from 25 years of experience.”
- Sip your margarita slowly and let the silence do the work.
- Smile, nod, and mentally add them to the list of people who will be impressed later.
Your past is your credibility. Every year, every role, every hard-won lesson — it’s yours.
You’re not starting over.
You’re just finally starting for yourself.
And honestly? It’s about time.
Bukky is a business coach for midlife women transitioning from corporate and academia into
entrepreneurship. She helps clients clarify their profitable idea and build a business that’s
aligned, sustainable, and completely theirs. If you’re ready for a calm, 30-minute
perspective-shifting conversation, visit coachedby.com or DM her directly.
Cheers to the next chapter.
Follow Bukky on all here socials here:
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