If you’re friends with me, you know I suck at being a good friend. I honestly love all my friends and would be there in a flash if a friend were seriously in trouble. I promise I’m not a bad person, but I’m pretty sure I was dropped on my head as a kid and now my memory is awful and I have problems focusing. I don’t remember what I ate for lunch so I sure won’t remember your birthday. Unless I’m on Facebook and FB tells me it’s your birthday.
Here are a few more traits of a sucky friend:
*Can’t remember your birthday. Ever. So anniversaries are out of the question.
*Hate to talk on the phone. My mind wanders when people talk to me for too long. I can’t help it. Text me and I am more focused. You can even Snapchat or Twitter at me.
*I hate chick flicks. I would rather see a ‘Die Hard’ movie or a really dark, scary movie. I don’t like to cry at movies but give me car wrecks and ghosts and I will be your BFF.
*I don’t trust anyone driving. If you want to hang out, go to dinner, pedi’s etc., I have to drive. I don’t trust other friends driving. If you insist on driving please realize I will tell you where to go and how to get there.
*I’m always right. I’ll try to give you unsolicited advice and if you think I’m wrong, well that might not go well.
*I can’t be around friends who do not have a sense of humor. If you are serious all the time I assume you are a miserable person and need psychiatric therapy. I hate to be called out when my humor might be slightly inappropriate. Which happens often.
*I don’t want to go out to dinner with friends who only eat salads and talk about how they have to watch their weight. Boo hoo. Eat a flipping cheeseburger already.
*I like my cocktails. A lot. I get a little louder with each
shot sip. The more I have the funnier I am. But then you would have to drive home and then I would have to tell you how to drive and it would just turn into a hot mess.
So if you expect friends to remember birthdays, eat salads and do girly girl things, then I’m not your girl. I suck at being a good friend. Just so you know upfront.