Everyday I hear myself saying stuff to my teen boys that I shouldn’t have to say. It’s like all those years of letting them fail to learn a lesson never happened. All the common sense I thought they would “grow into” never materialized. How will they move into adulthood and thrive? I can’t answer that question but my hopes are being snuffed out day by day. I’m exhausted from repeating directions, warnings and life skills. Here is just a small list of those. Can you relate?

• Use oven mitts next time. They keep you from burning yourself.
• It’s called a “check register”. It helps you from over drafting your account and asking me for money to cover it.
• Put your clothes in the hamper (repeated 20 times a day).
• Only I can use frickin swear words.
• Don’t put your fork in the microwave!
• Our data doesn’t rollover. We actually have to pay more when you go over your limit.
• No you can’t pee outside! We have indoor plumbing.
• There is a limit to how much you can shove in the washing machine before it shoots water all over the floor.
• Do you know what happens to an entire pack of gum in your pants pocket when it goes into the dryer? You’re about to find out.
• You have to reapply sunscreen after swimming. It’s not a force field.
• The dog will die if you try to wait him out to feed him.
• How do you think you got Mono?
• If you break your brother’s arm you’re going to take him to the ER and explain it.
• If you go to jail for any reason I will not bail you out.
• Yes clothes do mold if you leave them in your car all semester.
• Always wear clean underwear. Or at least just wear underwear.
• Please at least wear a towel when you come out of the shower. For the love!
• Conditioner is for AFTER shampoo.
• Yes you do have to eventually get a new toothbrush.
• Watch ‘Teen Mom’. I’m not raising your kid too.
• When you turn 18, I will push you outa the damn nest.

And that was just the short list.