A Strong & Confident Woman is Not a Bitch.


I frequently tell my kids they don’t have to make everyone happy. Because it’s not a reality. Some people love being miserable and that’s ok too. You can try to cheer up someone who is down but eventually that person is in charge of their own happiness and has to make the decision to be happy or be miserable. You might say, “well Margarita Girl, what about those with depression? They can’t help it.” You’re right. Those with depression can’t help it and hopefully they will seek help. Or, if you know someone suffering from depression, you can help them get help. But for this post, we are talking about those not suffering from depression. 

The other thing we talk about is not liking everyone. I hear kids say all the time that so-and-so doesn’t want to be my friend or doesn’t like me. (I’ve heard grown women say this too.) Do you have people you don’t particularly care for? Bingo! Some people won’t ever care for you either. It’s human nature. There might be people I don’t like, but if they were on fire I would still help them. I’m not a demon. (Some would beg to differ here). I’m in my midlife and have figured out a lot more about myself then I knew in my 20’s, even my 30’s. I don’t have to have everyone love me or even like me. I am who I am and  I’m pretty proud of where I am going. I’m happy. I don’t want to be around people who pre-judge me and maybe have the wrong idea about me. I’m not a bitch. I’m just sure in what I want, who I am and I have a pretty good read about other people. 

The bitch part brings me to something else. I keep seeing memes about “being a bitch is a good thing for a woman. It means she is a leader”. Nope. Not even close. A woman who is strong and confident and takes no bullshit is not a bitch. She’s a strong woman. A bitch is someone who doesn’t care about others and will go out of her way to make them feel bad, not listen to their wants and needs and think it’s all her way or the highway. Bitches are hateful, back-stabbing, manipulative women who are out there only for themselves. They are not strong women and it really bothers me when people confuse the two.

I want the best for people around me. Even when someone pisses me off (happens a lot) I still love them and hope they can see beyond their pride and are able to want to work things out with me. If they think they are right and I am wrong and have no desire to fix the problem, then we were never really friends. That’s pretty sad when you have known someone for a long time and then, poof, it’s all gone over something said or misconstrued. Happens though. 

If it seems I am jumping around today, maybe I am. The bottom line is this: Life is too short to be a bitch. You can be a strong confident woman without being a bitch. You can also have your own opinion and not feel like you have to apologize for it. We as strong women deserve to be heard, deserve to have our own opinions and deserve to live the life we want without being made to feel guilty. That is empowerment!

So when you talk about inspiring, lifting up and empowering other women, remember this: You don’t have to like everyone and everyone doesn’t have to like you. But you don’t have to be a bitch. You don’t have to have the same ideas, values and morals. It’s ok to be different. It’s ok to be happy. It’s ok to be strong without being a bitch.

So that’s it for today Margarita fans! Anyone else have some insight? What do you consider a “strong woman”? I’d love to hear!

Cheers Y’all!


11 thoughts on “A Strong & Confident Woman is Not a Bitch.

  1. My image of a strong woman is one who loves herself, understands her strengths and growth areas, and is confident in herself. Such a woman does not feel the need to put others down, to manipulate them, or to speak badly of others when they are not present. A strong woman lifts others up and helps them to become their better selves, as well. She refuses to be pulled down to the same level of bitterness, passive aggressive behavior, or cruelty that others may show toward her. Instead, she is assertive and respectful in the way she communicates to and about others. She is the woman that I believe myself to be, and the woman that I continue to grow into every day.

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  2. Thank you! I was brought up to be strong and confident. I married into a family that thinks standing strong on you values and protecting your children makes you a bitch. What they don’t seem to get is I don’t care. Sadly it hurts my husband. Women can be so cruel to other women.

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  3. The wisdom of age has taught me to surround myself with people I enjoy spending time with, to stay true to myself, speak up when necessary and not sweat the small stuff. As you describe, this can and should all be achieved through kindness rather than bitchiness.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I grew up with 5 strong, confident sisters at a time when bitch was a derogatory term. I’m not certain when assertive became synonymous with aggressive but I feel sorry for women who have to put up with that crap!

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  5. You are one of the strongest women I know. I don’t consider you a bitch at all. EVER! You are who you are and I love you for that. You may not realize how much I look up to you. When I am having that “feel sorry for myself” moment, I think…What would Midlife Margaritas tell me? It makes me pick myself up, give myself the kick in the hind parts that I need and get er done. We have been a part of each other families for many years now. Your kids think of me as their “other Mom” and mine think of you in the same way. I am truly blessed to have you as a friend and sister in Christ. My daughters are even more blessed to have you as a role model in their lives and “other Mom”. Love you!!

    Liked by 2 people

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