A Letter To Marie Kondo. From Your Worst Nightmare.

mariekondo

Dear Marie Kondo,

I get it. You want to spark joy with the world. You are a sweet, tiny little thing but that’s ok. You help people get organized and teach them how to “tidy up” with Joy. But, I would be your worst nightmare.

You tell people to hold each item as they go through things to organize. If it “sparks joy” they should keep it. Sounds like a good plan. But the only thing sparking joy so far in my quest to follow your KonMari method, is all my liquor bottles. So yep, I’m keeping them.

You also suggest we go through by category not rooms. I got so confused. We went through all the clothes category and, well to be honest, we are all going just about naked around here. Is there anything in your method that says, if you get rid of all of it you can go shopping? Because now I’m on Amazon buying clothes. Amazon brings me joy. It doesn’t bring the hubby joy though. So what do I do now? So confused.

I know you like us to fold things a certain way. That doesn’t bring me joy at all. Still confused. We only have a few pair of socks that actually match. Might have to toss them and order more. Yay Amazon. I think I will just skip the folding and hang everything on hangers. If I folded everything your way, I would be drinking all my joyous liquor before noon.

Now I find out that I can become a KonMari consultant. According to Kondo’s site it costs about 2 grand and a test to become a consultant. I nearly stroked out when I read that. If I had that extra money lying around I would hire a maid and butler to “tidy” my house on the daily. I get it though girl, you got to make bank too.

And you are so tiny and cute. I love your laugh. I applaud your helping people too. But I do have a question. What if you have so much stuff and no one to help you and you are just so tired. Can I hire you to come to my house? Not sure what that would cost but I know you are a busy woman. I see on your website that you have many consultants that could help me. But then I wouldn’t be on TV. I’m already on my third year of trying to get a TV deal from Bravo and I would name it; “Real Housewives of Raleigh NC”. Except I’m not married to a rich guy. Big Daddy is just average rich. (Andy Cohen, call me.)

If you go to Marie’s YouTube Channel, the intro video will relax you completely. I took a nap the second time I watched it.

If you are interested in trying out this method of tidying with joy, you can check her out on Netflix. And while I love making fun of stuff like this, She is fun to watch. I did attempt to try this method and didn’t get far. I just can’t get into it. But I know most people can.

If you are wanting to give it a try, I suggest watching her fold underwear first. Because honestly, I toss mine in a drawer. Too many steps to fold.

Also her website is relaxing too: https://konmari.com/

In closing, Marie, I love you dearly. You are bringing Joy to the World. Literally. But I am your worst nightmare. If you don’t believe it, call me girl. If you could fix me (for free) you would be so famous you wouldn’t know what to do. And I think you would love my margaritas.Β 

Love,

Missy at Midlife Margaritas

12 thoughts on “A Letter To Marie Kondo. From Your Worst Nightmare.

  1. My daughter has been watching on Netflix and threw out 6 bags of clothes. Some had hardly been worn, some cost a fortune…..I couldn’t bear to let her do it, so I have rescued them. We have very different taste in clothes and she is a size bigger than me but I will wear them anyway and she might want some back when she isn’t feeling so organised.. (brainwashed) Her house is beautifully tidy but she has no clothes, mine looks like a jumble sale and I have to wear flourescent vest tops and a shirt with flamingoes on!! Thank you Marie Kondo (Can I throw my husband out if he doesn’t give me joy?)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. SERIOUSLY LMAO!!! I CANNOT explain how much I identify with your sentiments!!! I WANT TO BE THIS TIDY WHEN I GROW UP!! But the reality..the REALITY…is..
    I spill…
    I stain..
    I’m ” Drunk at vogue”.. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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