I took some time this weekend to get away with Chris, aka Big Daddy. Thing 2 had a lacrosse game in SC but it got canceled. Didn’t want to lose our money on the reservations so we used the time as a mini vacation. (Highly recommend mini vacas) We spent the time shopping, eating some fresh seafood and lots of people watching.
We were in North Myrtle Beach, SC. If you’ve never been, it’s like a mini-Vegas sans the gambling. It’s a great resort beach town though. I have been going there all my life. I love to see what businesses are new and what didn’t make it each year. Just FYI, the strip clubs seem to make it year after year. Wonder why that is? (Sarcasm)
So we made the trip down from NC without killing anyone but Sweet Baby Jesus, why can’t people drive? Put those phones down! For. The. Love.
Let’s start with our seafood dinner. One of our fav places just before we hit the SC line. Little place with the best food and hushpuppies. It’s pretty fast too. However, that night was dinner AND a show!
There was a table behind us. Chris was facing them so he got a good look. I had to use my imagination until we left and I could see the folks. The real thing was even better than I imagined! The table was full of older folks. Most local. You can tell by the accent that some were from a little further away. But I feel they were all related somehow. All of a sudden, this women and her husband (maybe first cousin. I couldn’t figure it out and frankly in NC/SC you ever know) came in and she was talking loud as she entered the place. Going on about how sorry she was for being so late. This turned into why she was late. Something about her bladder mesh wasn’t doing so good and she was in some pain and the doctor won’t do anything about it. Then it was about her intestines which were really large because she still had a lot of poop in there. What the actual hell???????????? The entire restaurant heard her. I started laughing which made Chris laugh and he said the older woman on the end saw us laughing, whispered to her husband and then they both laughed with Chris.
I’m about to die and even though she is talking about her poop, I am still scarfing down my crab legs and hushpuppies. Then the conversation turns to somebody dying. I never did figure out if it was a person or a pet! But she never shut up. When we finally left, I got to see the whole gang. Y’all, I was DYING. Most were sweet little older folks but the loud woman and her husband who looked like Janice Joplin and Sonny Bono (google that if you are not old enough to know). Janice was wearing a bedazzled top and Sonny was wearing a T-shirt that said something like “I got crabs from the crab shack” I can’t even Y’all.
We left and laughed all the way to the condo. The next day we hit the Tangier Outlets. We shopped every square inch. I mean this place is awesome. There are play areas for the little kids, charging stations where you can rest and charge your phones and a big ‘ol food court. My favorite was the area where you could eat and play corn hole. They have it all. Kate Spade store was having a sale and we found some really good deals everywhere. People watching there is fantastic. But nothing like from dinner the night before.
Until we saw the manikin with a penis. You can’t give him eyes or lips but you can add a penis?
So we packed up the next morning and hit up our fav breakfast spot, Hoskins. If in North Myrtle, you must eat there.
Hopefully you won’t have to witness a guy in the parking lot changing his shirt. It’s ok if he had been mid 20s-30s with six pack abs but this guy was a mid-lifer with a bod way beyond a dad bod. Took off his shirt and all I saw was butt crack! Dude, have you given up too? Change in your car! No one needs to see that.
People everywhere dressing like they just don’t care anymore. Have they given up? They sure drive like they do. Then there was the guy driving the newly waxed blue Jaguar. While I’m not a fan of Jaguars, if you buy one and it has a ‘CarMax’ plate on it, maybe change that out? You just don’t buy luxury cars from CarMax. Sorry. Sound snobby much? lol
Well we made it home. Had a great mini vaca, and bought some stuff. Realized we need to brush up on our manners and what we wear in public. We don’t want folks to think we’ve given up on ourselves and life. We did walk a bit on the beach too.
So tomorrow, wake up and put on some make up. Brush your teeth and hair. Wear some clothes that fit and look like you care. Take time to look around you and be who you were born to be. Even if you buy a Jaguar from CarMax, look good while you’re driving it!
Peace Love & Margaritas!