Can I Order Sage in Bulk from Amazon? Because We’re Gonna Need a Ton of It to Sage the Shit Out of This Planet.

Every day we wake up to the same crap-different day. War, Politics, Trafficking, Murder, Riots, and the list never ends. We are all out of Hail Mary’s and actual Priests (that haven’t molested anyone) to do exorcisms. I can just about bet the farm we don’t have enough holy water left either. So, what’s next?

Sage? I haven’t tried this method but damn, we got to try everything to save the planet, right? Burning sage or “smudging” is supposed to help get rid of negative energy and help solve spiritual issues. (Like Putin himself maybe?)

The next problem is how much do we need? We have the entire planet to smudge Y’all. Do we split it up via country? Does everyone have an Amazon account? Any sage farmers want to get in on this and ship for free?

As far as billing, I think we charge it to Putin via the new USSR. And lastly, who’s going to sage Russia?

Found a DEAL on Amazon from Purple Crayon:

Anyone else have any better ideas to save the planet? I think we have also already gone through all 10 plagues from the bible. The rest is all unknown.

PS. The post is all sarcasm, it comes from my heart with so much rage and frustration of current events over the past few years. We no longer have respect for one another, accountability, self-regulation, and common sense is no longer common. And because I know someone will ask, NO there is not enough sage on the planet to smudge the evil out of this world. Change will only happen if WE the PEOPLE change our cold dark souls.

Peace, Love and Margaritas!

4 thoughts on “Can I Order Sage in Bulk from Amazon? Because We’re Gonna Need a Ton of It to Sage the Shit Out of This Planet.

  1. Seriously! You nailed it! It is like you read my mind. I actually looked up a few weeks ago about burning sage to protect against evil and disease. LOL I looked up the biblical reference too. I want any evil, virus, etc. all away from my family. My friend gave me a bundle. I lit it and I swear I felt like I was back smelling the stoners in high school. (maybe she gave me the wrong bundle) LOL But hopefully, it killed the virus and evil in the air. FYI light it – smudge it around and blow out. It seriously is great outside in summer to keep bugs at bay. Inside, it is indeed heady.

    Liked by 1 person

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