Here at Midlife Margaritas, we get lots of emails. And they can be spectacular. Some are just so random and weird though. So I thought I would give you a peek into what I deal with in my inbox. Makes for good material.
Message: “Hi! I love your blog! You give such great parenting advice!” ME: Really? Have you actually read my posts? You might want to find another blog that gives actual parenting advice that won’t get you in trouble with your Dept. of Social Services. My kids are almost grown so I consider it a miracle they are still alive.
Message: “You seem to have a drinking problem. Have you considered getting help?” ME: LOL. The only problem I have is if I run out of frozen margarita mix. The only help I need is a bigger blender!
Message: “Would you be open to posting one of my articles to your blog? It’s about healthy eating for young moms. It would fit right in with your brand!” ME: *Just spewed coffee halfway over the kitchen table.. First, I’m southern and I like to eat comfort food and I don’t have any real friends who think SALAD is a meal option but more of a snack if there is nothing else in the fridge. Secondly, I’m not a young mom. The name of my blog is MIDLIFE Margaritas. Do you even have kids?
Message: “I think your hot. Want to meet up?” ME: If this is my husband, you’ve already had your weekly fun but you are welcome to come home and do some laundry so I can blog. If this is a random person, thanks! Right now I’m in the middle of a hot-flash so it’s like your watching me. Nope, I don’t want to meet up. Unless you’re buying me a new handbag and a drink in a sports bar. Then maybe.:)
Message: “I would like to send you my free eBook to review for your blog. Would you let me know when you could post about it?” ME: It depends on if your eBook is right for my readers and I also charge to do reviews. Message Person: “You think your blog is good enough to charge for a review? You must think a lot of yourself!” Me: lol You must think it’s good enough to ask me to review it for my blog. My time matters biotch. Ain’t got time for you.
Message: “Hi friend, I am a photographer in India and I would love to share pictures with you to post on your blog for free. They are pretty girls in their midlife crisis. I think you readers will like them. They are looking for rich husbands. Please let me know where to send them.” Me: Wait Wha? NO. NOPE. NO WAY. Is this even real? Should I take a look? Why am I so curious! lol Pervs.
Message: “Why do you cuss? Can’t you leave out the swear words?” Me: I like to cuss. Makes me feel like a bad-ass. So hell yeah I like to cuss and dammit, people like me anyway!
Message: “Can you help me make a blog? I don’t have any money but you seem like you know what you are doing and a nice person who could give me tips on blogging.” Me: No freebies here hon. I charge big time to help people create blogs so they can be like me. And for the record, I have no idea what I am doing and I’ve been told I am not very nice. 😉
Message: “You have a fantastic blog. I love your parenting style. I bet your are a wonderful parent.” Me: Um. If you like my parenting style then you might not need to have kids. I write about the best cocktail recipes and how not to kill your kids when they are clearly out to get you and make you think you are crazy. So yeah I’m parent of the year.
These are just a few of the emails I have gotten lately. Most of the time I get great emails from different bloggers and readers from all over the world. Last time I checked I had readers from over 62 countries. Which makes me think they probably think this crazy wife/mom is a great representation of life in the USA. I assure you, it is much worse. lol
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