My Day in 12 Painful Steps (I Need a Vacation)

My Day In 12 Painful Steps.

  1. I’m still asleep, hears alarm: What day is this?
  2. In the shower: Did I use the conditioner yet? Omg. Now I have to start over because I can’t remember if I used the conditioner or was it just the shampoo. Or was it just conditioner. Damn.
  3. I’ll just grab a pop tart since I’m running late. Opens pantry finds empty pop tart box. Who should I kill for that?!
  4. Goes through drive through to grab breakfast. Is the person in front of me ordering for the whole damn office building? For. The. Love.
  5. Gets to work. Sits in car trying to find my happy face. Forget it. They’re just going to have to settle for medium nice today.
  6. Gets home from work and the dog won’t get up to greet me much less wag his tail. Starting to think no one likes me.
  7. Craving a pop tart. See #3. Pissed at kids again.
  8. Settles for a sandwich. Makes grocery list. Because I love going to the grocery store and we are out of food. In case it wasn’t obvious.
  9. Does laundry and thinks, “is this all there is in life?”
  10. Decides to watch Netflix spends 2 hours trying to figure out what to watch. Gives up.
  11. Family comes home and wants to know what’s for dinner. I serve them pop tarts. Fresh from the grocery store.
  12. Goes to bed and dreams of a warm, sunny tropical island vacation. Alone. With unlimited amounts of cash. And booze. “Please don’t wake up. Please don’t wake up. Please don’t wake up.”

4 thoughts on “My Day in 12 Painful Steps (I Need a Vacation)

  1. You clearly need to step into one of your lovely post pictures. I usually look at them and drool…Tell me where it is and I’ll meet you there for a couple of margaritas or 16 – and I promise I won’t bring any pop tarts. It’s mahoosive packets of crisps, olives and hummus all the way 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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