To the young moms out there. It WILL get better. The struggle is real but you got this. Make #momlife your bitch! Take back your life and still be an awesome mom/wife. So take your laptop or phone with you to the bathroom and lock the door. Let them cry, stick fingers under the door, beg for food, threaten the pets. As long as you can hear them out there beyond the door, they are just fine. If it gets quiet, then you have a problem. But for now, let’s talk.
I get you. I really do. I was a stay-at-home mom for a lot of years. It’s lonely and scary all at the same time. You’re exhausted, cranky, suffering postpartum and hungry. (I hope you have a snack in the bathroom with you). But it’s ok. Help is on the way. And it’s probably not your other half, at least not till after 5pm right? BREATHE. It’s ok to take some time for you everyday. In fact I highly recommend it to help you stay sane. I mean you already do all the laundry, cook or order out the meals, try to keep the house picked up and deal with tears and meltdowns. When do you have time to have lunch with the girls or get a Pedi or read a freaking book? Never. I get it. Listen, I used to call Big Daddy every night at 5 o’clock and cry about how mean the kids were to me and how nothing got done and I just wanted to talk to another adult. Then I would threaten to start random shopping sprees on Amazon.com if he didn’t hurry up and come home. And bring dinner from McDonald’s because I totally forgot to get the meat out of the freezer. SO yes, I get you. I feel you.
Guilt. It’s the worst. You feel guilty for wanting time to yourself and to feel like a person of worth other than being the milk machine and the slave labor. Some of you went back to work, others wanted to stay home. (Which by the way, both stay-at-home and working moms outside the home are excellent moms!). Stay at home moms want a break, friendships and to feel they are needed outside of mommy duty. They want to feel normal again. So dry your tears, stop feeling guilty for putting the toddlers in front of the TV and take a freaking nap! Your kids will survive and thrive even if they see so much ‘Elmo’s World’ that they start to refer to him as Da-Da. I promise!
It’s time to make #momlife your bitch! Stop putting yourself last. Shoot for your goals NOW and stop waiting for them to grow up. Now, let’s make a plan. Here are some tips to get started.
- Get out of bed. You can do it. Open the shades/blinds and let in the sun. It’s a new day and we are going to enjoy it. Like it or not. Do the minimal house stuff and laundry. Tell the hubs it’s time to hire a maid. Teach those kids to help clean up. If they can crawl, they can toss their damn toys in a basket. Eat breakfast then put the kids in front of the TV and take a few minutes for you.
- Get a hobby. Moms all over the world have taken to Pinterest to get their minds right. Make something pretty or cook a 5-star meal. Me, I learned how to make some awesome cocktails on Pinterest. Pinterest is our friend!
- Buy some clothes! No need to live in yoga pants. Be the mom at the play place who looks like a million bucks. All the other moms will think you have your shit together! Dress to impress. Except, no heels. Those are for date nights.
- Hire a sitter. Get creative and offer community service hours to high schoolers to play with your kids while you have lunch with the girls. If they want money instead, then make them do the housework and laundry too. They are still young and have the stamina.
- Buy a strand of Pearls and wear them often. It shows you have class and elegance even if you drink wine out of a box. Accessories matter!
- Clean your car. Don’t feed your kids food in the car to keep them from screaming. That’s why vans have TV’s in them now (with earphones). A clean car shows you have mastered transportation organization! You will be envied.
- Dad’s can handle the kids too. They spawned them, they can be left alone with them. I promise. Consider a weekend away with the girls. Don’t let their dad make you feel guilty for watching his own kids. You do it all damn day. Babysitters are non-parents. Don’t ever say the hubby is babysitting. Unless he is actually sitting on a baby. Then you have a problem.
- Set goals. Do you want to go back to work? Start an at home business? Write a book? Write down your goals and turn them into realities now. Don’t wait till the kids have gone to college. Did you ever think that maybe your kid wants a break from you during the day? It’s a win-win.
Listen, the kids will be gone before you know it. But you know what? They will love remembering that you were the mom who took time for yourself and had a life. That you wore pearls and drank wine (responsibly), taught them responsibility and had the energy to play with them. They will also love that you let them watch TV or stay at a friend’s house a few times a week. They will love you know matter what but teach them to make life their bitch too. Now get out there and kick-ass!