Emails, Extortion & Sex Tapes (Oh My!)

Posted in funny

 

bugsex

Do you ever read your spam emails? Sometimes I do just to see if I am missing any important emails. Usually I have the typical Penis Enlargement or Hot Asian Girls in my area or my favorite from a Nigerian Princess wants to send me her inheritance. These are so old and tired. When will these people get more creative?

They just did! I opened my spam folder yesterday and the email that read, “I have your email password” caught my eye. It had all the right stuff. Threats, lies, extortion and sex! It was a lengthy email about how this person has my sex tape and will ruin me if I don’t send him $4999.00. After all that my real concern was why only $4999.00? Am I not normal because I am more concerned about why only the $4999.00 than I am about the sex tape of me? lol 

I wish I had saved the email but I deleted it. The writer told me I had 2 options. 1, to pay the ransom and he would make the tape go away and leave me alone forever, or 2, he will release the tape to all my contacts in my email list plus my business associates so I would be humiliated and never recover from it. lol Love it!

First, we all know there is no sex tape. Seriously? Do any of you have one? (Please don’t answer that). Secondly, IF I had one (and let me repeat, I don’t have one) I wouldn’t keep it on my computer. It would be on a thumb drive stored in a bank vault somewhere. WITH an armed guard watching over it 24/7. Most importantly, WHO WATCHES THEIR OWN SEX TAP ANYWAY? GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even if I was a Kardashian, I wouldn’t keep a sex tape. (But If I were a Kardashian, I would be thin, tan and have a hot butt!) Oh and lots of money. And my husband would be a professional athlete! lol

So if you have any good spam emails, let me know about them! And change your passwords often….

Here’s a great sex video of a Praying Mantis couple. Not for the weak of heart!

Cheer’s Y’all!

Published by midlifemargaritas

17 thoughts on “Emails, Extortion & Sex Tapes (Oh My!)”

  2. Hysterical! And watching your own sex tape?! That sounds like the ONE THING that would make me NEVER have sex again! Could you imagine how self-conscious you’d be? Or maybe that’s just me. I got a phone call the other day (pre-recorded and horribly distorted) saying that if I didn’t call back within 24 hours there would be a warrant issued for my arrest! Should I be worried? Hmmm…they didn’t have my name…I think I’ll take my chances. Besides, I have a fortune coming from a Prince in Nigeria. I should be okay. LOL

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  3. LOL Seriously $4999? Why not $5000. May the extortion business is not good if they are 99 ing the price. LMAO! I did get a call from a mystery number claiming the State of NC wanted to give me $5,000 to $8,000. I just needed to verify all my bank information and they would deposit. I laughed and laughed until apparently the guy gave up!! But we could get this money and pay your extortion fee. I wonder whose video they would send? Probably Putin! LMAO

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  6. I got the sex tape scam about six months ago. My guy only wanted $1,000.00 though. Quite a blow to my self esteem that your imaginary sex tape is worth so much more than mine. I take comfort that at least it wasn’t 5 times as much. cheers

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