Open Letter to the Downright Hateful Ass Algorithms on Social Media All Over The World

Posted in funny, Life

Can you tell I’m a little ticked Mr. Algorithm? You change constantly and I feel like you are doing it on purpose. Don’t you get it? We (people all over the world) are sick and tired of your shenanigan’s. It’s like you were born to mess up writers, bloggers and creatives on purpose. Are you a spawn of Satan?

Even the regular people on social media do not get it. And the techie folks keep making up crap about you. Like you are some Brainiac that knows how and who and when. You’re like The Cloud. No one understands or gets you. Do we even need you?

Google seems to think so. Just when we think we understand you, they change you. I want to know who the little person is behind the curtain. Always changing you so that no one can figure you out completely. If I find him, I’m gonna black his little eyes.

When I hear the news that all the social platforms have changed their algorithms overnight, I start to feel faint and nauseous. It’s like I know I have to relearn everything again just to get people to like my stupid margarita meme. I do have a life you know. You are driving me to drink. More.

So to you and all your cronies (The SEO guys and GOOGLE people) I’m coming for ya. You’ve made my life a living hell. I’m going to get President Trump to cancel TikTok and WeChat. That’ll show you the clout I have!

Algorithms, I will beat you at your own game you SOB.

Sincerely,

Midlife Margaritas

Published by midlifemargaritas

15 thoughts on “Open Letter to the Downright Hateful Ass Algorithms on Social Media All Over The World”

  1. This is so true! When the rules change and nobody explains the new rules—it’s frustrating and unfair. It should be illegal. Zuck sucks, and Google has become a terrible search engine, unless you want pages of ads with no actual answer to your question.

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  3. Oooooooh Algorithms!!!
    You think you need us so
    but oh you’re mistaken
    Siiiiiiiing Oh Algorithms!!!
    your swan song
    will be in the cloud prison!
    Oh Yee Oh Yee
    are just a smidgeon
    by the time we raise our mice and chant
    you will be forgotten
    Oooooooh!! Algorithms!!
    Hear the drum beats now
    marching you to prison!

    How’s that for my Algorithms song? ROFL

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  4. Have you watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix yet?? You need to watch. So good. It will make you even more mad at the algorithyms. I just spelled that wrong. Also, I always want to spell it, Al-Gore- Rythms. My dad would love that joke.

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