There comes a time in most everyone’s life where you wonder, “what the hell do I do now?”. The kids are growing up and don’t need me as much, I hate my job, I’m bored with everything, Is God ignoring me?, I want to redecorate my house or move, who am I?, why can’t anyone… Continue reading Reinventing Yourself In Midlife: Drink More Margaritas!
One of my posts is getting 100’s of hits a day and it’s hysterical! I wrote a piece about how pineapples aren’t just a symbol of hospitality. They are rumored to be the symbol of SWINGERS too! lol Yep, you know, couples who swap partners? Uh huh. Speechless? Me too! lol In case you haven’t read… Continue reading Now I have a “Swinger” Following. All Because of my Pineapple Obsession.
Had a Doc appointment last week and got the awesome news I have Osteoporosis. I CAN’T EVEN PRONOUNCE IT RIGHT! So I was pretty stunned and as Dr. “very young and beautiful and has no idea her life will suck one day too” started to tell me about the different treatments for this, I zoned… Continue reading Bad to the Bone. Menopause Sucks, Part Deux.
Hey Peeps! Today is our big day! National Margarita Day and we couldn’t be happier. Some of my close friends are stopping by tonight for margaritas and fun. We’re planning to try that Facebook live thing too. If you’ve got nothing better to do around 7:45 ET, stop by our Facebook page and watch me… Continue reading Happy Margarita Day!
I gave up. I couldn’t see my text messages anymore on my iPhone. Even with the text setting to XXX large. So the other day I decided to just give up and get the iPhone PLUS. The one that is somewhere between a regular phone and a laptop. But I got it in the color… Continue reading I Blame Midlife for Having to Buy a New HUGE Phone!
Hey Happy Shiny People! It’s almost time to say goodbye to summer. And that makes me so so so sad. I’m not ready. It’s like my BFF is moving to another country. Ok maybe that was a tad dramatic but you have to understand I loathe winter. LOATHE it. Fall is ok with the leaves… Continue reading Goodbye Summer. I Love You.
If you’re friends with me, you know I suck at being a good friend. I honestly love all my friends and would be there in a flash if a friend were seriously in trouble. I promise I’m not a bad person, but I’m pretty sure I was dropped on my head as a kid and now my memory is awful and I have problems focusing. I don’t remember what I ate for lunch so I sure won’t remember your birthday. Unless I’m on Facebook and FB tells me it’s your birthday.
Here are a few more traits of a sucky friend:
*Can’t remember your birthday. Ever. So anniversaries are out of the question.
*Hate to talk on the phone. My mind wanders when people talk to me for too long. I can’t help it. Text me and I am more focused. You can even Snapchat or Twitter at me.
*I hate chick flicks. I would rather see a ‘Die Hard’ movie or a really dark, scary movie. I don’t like to cry at movies but give me car wrecks and ghosts and I will be your BFF.
*I don’t trust anyone driving. If you want to hang out, go to dinner, pedi’s etc., I have to drive. I don’t trust other friends driving. If you insist on driving please realize I will tell you where to go and how to get there.
*I’m always right. I’ll try to give you unsolicited advice and if you think I’m wrong, well that might not go well.
*I can’t be around friends who do not have a sense of humor. If you are serious all the time I assume you are a miserable person and need psychiatric therapy. I hate to be called out when my humor might be slightly inappropriate. Which happens often.
*I don’t want to go out to dinner with friends who only eat salads and talk about how they have to watch their weight. Boo hoo. Eat a flipping cheeseburger already.
*I like my cocktails. A lot. I get a little louder with each
shot sip. The more I have the funnier I am. But then you would have to drive home and then I would have to tell you how to drive and it would just turn into a hot mess.
So if you expect friends to remember birthdays, eat salads and do girly girl things, then I’m not your girl. I suck at being a good friend. Just so you know upfront.