Menopause is just another word for Homicidal.

You knew this post was coming right? Menopause. We’ll call this post, Part 1. SO much we need to discuss! So here’s the definition from Merriam-Webster: Definition of menopause 1 :  the natural cessation of menstruation that usually occurs between the ages of 45 and 55; also :  the period during which such cessation occurs —called… Continue reading Menopause is just another word for Homicidal.

I Blame Midlife for Having to Buy a New HUGE Phone!

I gave up. I couldn’t see my text messages anymore on my iPhone. Even with the text setting to XXX large. So the other day I decided to just give up and get the iPhone PLUS. The one that is somewhere between a regular phone and a laptop. But I got it in the color… Continue reading I Blame Midlife for Having to Buy a New HUGE Phone!

It’s My Birthday Bitches!

Today, I turned 50! I don’t feel a minute over 3o to be honest. In fact, when I turned 30 I thought my life was over. I had a premonition that I was going to die young. lol Nope. It does help that my grandmother is 96 this year, so I have that going for me.… Continue reading It’s My Birthday Bitches!

Why Don’t I Own a Skillet? Am I Even Southern?

Why Don’t I Own a Skillet? It occurred to me today that I might not be a real southern wife/mom. I was screwing around on Pinterest and saving pins of comfort foods when I realized, I don’t even own a cast iron skillet! WTH? How can I claim to be southern born and bred and… Continue reading Why Don’t I Own a Skillet? Am I Even Southern?

Confessions of a Cupcakeaholic

I. Want. A. Cupcake. I realize this is not breaking news and there are all kinds of political and social issues we could poke fun of today. But I can’t even think clearly. My sugar level is so low I feel like I could pass out at any minute.  No. I don’t have diabetes and… Continue reading Confessions of a Cupcakeaholic

Suviving Summer with your College Kid

collegekidYou were so sad and proud the day your child graduated from college. You mourned the child that you once carried around on your hip and now he’s all grown up and headed to college. You get through the first semester with him being gone and find your routine again. Maybe you have another child still at home to fill the void of an otherwise quiet house. Things are going smoothly and you are so excited when your college kid moves back in for the summer. Awesome right?

REALITY. He comes home and turns back into a high schooler and you think, “How the hell did he survive his first year away?” THEN you think, “How the hell am I going to survive this summer?”

Here are 7 Tips to help you make it through till fall:

1.       Stock Up On Booze. Unless you are already on anxiety meds. (Do not mix the two, even if tempted). You don’t have to wait till 5 o’clock to have a margarita to relax. Mimosas are a great way to start the day!

2.       Set Boundaries. I’ve read that giving your child a curfew again is demeaning as they have been on their own for a year now. To that I say BS. I don’t care if they live 5 years on their own. I need to know that I can go to sleep and I can’t do that until he’s back in the house at night. Also make sure he understands your grocery bill is going up while he’s home and when you buy stuff he had better not eat it all before anyone else has some. His little brother is now taller than him and can whip his butt if all the chocolate milk is gone before he gets any.

3.       Laundry. O for the love! Laundry just got real again. Have your college kid do his own laundry and do it AFTER the rest of the family. College kid comes last in line to use the washer. Also, same rules as college apply: if you leave your wash unattended their stuff will be thrown on the floor wet so you can get the other stuff in there.

4.       Our House is not a Dorm Room. Yes friends can visit but there is no need to come home from work to 20 guys all over your house eating pizza and playing video games. But they are all welcome to help you do the laundry and clean the kitchen. Hide your booze too.

5.       Make Them Get a Job. Don’t let them say it’s their vacation so they should be resting up and relaxing. They need to make money to help cover those groceries and the booze that you drink to help you cope with them being home.

6.       Girlfriends DO NOT sleep in the same room when visiting. While it’s all great they have relationships and are trying to figure out what marriage might be like, you are not ready to be a grandparent. That’s a whole different set of tips.

7.       Spend Time With Them. Let them know you still love them and want to hang out. Watch Netflix, have cook-outs, go on some trips and have fun. But make it very clear that they have to leave come August and go back to school. Circle of Life peeps, Circle of Life.

Who Is This Midlife Crazy Person?

A quick definition from Psychology Today (.com) says: “Mid-Life:  Mortality and the idea that time is running out can leave a middle-aged person feeling discontent and restless. Often this 40- to 60-year-old may have a need to reassess life and its meaning.” Really? A need to reassess life and its meaning?  Shouldn’t we have life… Continue reading Who Is This Midlife Crazy Person?