I. Want. A. Cupcake. I realize this is not breaking news and there are all kinds of political and social issues we could poke fun of today. But I can’t even think clearly. My sugar level is so low I feel like I could pass out at any minute. No. I don’t have diabetes and… Continue reading Confessions of a Cupcakeaholic
We are week 2 into summer and I’ve already had a nervous breakdown. How many more weeks till they go back to school? Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids. But they are hoarders in training. It’s like they spent time in a Military inspired boot camp that teaches teens to torture their moms… Continue reading When Do They Go Back To School?
So here is the video. Shot by a person at the zoo where a 4 year-old child fell into the enclosure of an endangered gorilla named Harambe. I warn you it’s pretty hard to watch especially if you’re a parent. This happened over the weekend at the Cincinnati Zoo. Can you even fathom this? I… Continue reading Gorilla Wars 2016
You were so sad and proud the day your child graduated from college. You mourned the child that you once carried around on your hip and now he’s all grown up and headed to college. You get through the first semester with him being gone and find your routine again. Maybe you have another child still at home to fill the void of an otherwise quiet house. Things are going smoothly and you are so excited when your college kid moves back in for the summer. Awesome right?
REALITY. He comes home and turns back into a high schooler and you think, “How the hell did he survive his first year away?” THEN you think, “How the hell am I going to survive this summer?”
Here are 7 Tips to help you make it through till fall:
1. Stock Up On Booze. Unless you are already on anxiety meds. (Do not mix the two, even if tempted). You don’t have to wait till 5 o’clock to have a margarita to relax. Mimosas are a great way to start the day!
2. Set Boundaries. I’ve read that giving your child a curfew again is demeaning as they have been on their own for a year now. To that I say BS. I don’t care if they live 5 years on their own. I need to know that I can go to sleep and I can’t do that until he’s back in the house at night. Also make sure he understands your grocery bill is going up while he’s home and when you buy stuff he had better not eat it all before anyone else has some. His little brother is now taller than him and can whip his butt if all the chocolate milk is gone before he gets any.
3. Laundry. O for the love! Laundry just got real again. Have your college kid do his own laundry and do it AFTER the rest of the family. College kid comes last in line to use the washer. Also, same rules as college apply: if you leave your wash unattended their stuff will be thrown on the floor wet so you can get the other stuff in there.
4. Our House is not a Dorm Room. Yes friends can visit but there is no need to come home from work to 20 guys all over your house eating pizza and playing video games. But they are all welcome to help you do the laundry and clean the kitchen. Hide your booze too.
5. Make Them Get a Job. Don’t let them say it’s their vacation so they should be resting up and relaxing. They need to make money to help cover those groceries and the booze that you drink to help you cope with them being home.
6. Girlfriends DO NOT sleep in the same room when visiting. While it’s all great they have relationships and are trying to figure out what marriage might be like, you are not ready to be a grandparent. That’s a whole different set of tips.
7. Spend Time With Them. Let them know you still love them and want to hang out. Watch Netflix, have cook-outs, go on some trips and have fun. But make it very clear that they have to leave come August and go back to school. Circle of Life peeps, Circle of Life.
Here comes Mother’s Day again. While everyone is out buying cards and flowers and gift cards to the spa for mom, I thought I would post a few tweets in honor of this day. Moms aren’t perfect so I am sure you can relate to some of these:
I’m off coffee. My kid wound up with an empty sandwich in his lunchbox today. No peanut butter. Just bread. He said he cried.
When my kids can’t find their sports water bottles, they take coffee tumblers to practice.
Tucker: My lunch was rotten today.
Me: I didn’t pack you a lunch today
Look in backpack. Find Friday’s moldy lunch.
Thought it was going to be cold today. Put child in warm clothes. Child over heated and puked on playground.
Who else has dropped a phone on a baby tryin to take a pic?
#parentingfails>>> My son found pancakes in the frig. IDK where they came from. I didn’t stop him from eating them because he was quiet…
Just some random internet pics on Motherhood.
If you can’t find humor as a mom/parent then you are doing it all wrong.
My oldest (Thing 1) is starting to move back home for the summer. His first year of college almost behind him. I’m so proud of the things he’s accomplished this year: starting a bible study, playing lacrosse for NCSU’s club team, dean’s list both semesters and working a couple of part time jobs.
Great right? Well in just one day of the moving process I’ve lost my mind. He brought home more stuff than he originally started out with, lost a mattress on the move home, so much dirty laundry I think he only has 1 set of clean clothes and he’s wearing them, dings in the walls from moving a futon upstairs and our backyard storage house is now so full we are planning a yard sale. I should be grateful that’s he’s home and eventually I will be. Until then I’m gonna drink a pitcher of frozen margaritas, listen to my boys play video games sitting on that damn futon and mourn the clean uncluttered house I used to have. They make me crazy but I’m lucky and thankful. 🙂
My kids claim they hate me on social media. But yet I get the occasional “did you like my Instagram pic yet?” or “did you see my snap story?” So they are sending me mixed messages. But that doesn’t matter because like it or not, I AM on social media and I plan to stay. I mean I was on Facebook before they were old enough to ride a bike. But I have learned from these boys that there are some unwritten rules for moms to follow on social media:
- Never be the first one to ‘like’ a post or picture your child puts on social media. Apparently it’s so embarrassing.
- Hashtag Etiquette: Don’t make up a hashtag to try and be funny or witty. Use only normal hashtags relevant to your tweet or picture or post. Example Don’t use hashtags like #hessocuteicouldeathimwithaspoon or #bestmomeverandilovemykidssomuch
- Don’t use more than a few hashtags, more than 3 is weird.
- Don’t tag your kids on Facebook. They aren’t there anymore.
- Never save a picture from a snap story. There will be hell to pay if you do. They will revolt and stop making their beds and cleaning up for themselves every day. Oh wait, they don’t do that now!
- They get mad if you accept their friend’s requests on social media. Truth is their friends just want to see the embarrassing family pictures you post. That brings me to number 7.
- Don’t post embarrassing family pictures. This can ruin their reputations. (as if they even have one yet.)
- It’s not the twitter; it’s just ‘twitter’. No one tweets at you, so never say that.
- When posting selfies of your children’s friends moms, don’t put #momsquad and tag the kids in it. Worst. Mistake. Ever.
- The rules change daily according to the kids. You have to keep up and always remember what you do on social media reflects on your kids!
I hope I was able to help. If you have more mom rules, let me know!
#lifewithboys #boymom #parenting #momsofsocialmedia