Hey Mama! I’m giving encouragement to the new and expecting moms today. However, the older moms (like me and I don’t mean ancient) can chime in and give encouragement too. Let me start by saying, this is controversial and I know I’ll probably piss off some of you and that’s ok. I can’t make all… Continue reading Babies, Bottles and Milk Maidens from Hell.
Just added another Mother’s Day to the books yesterday. Have to say it was a great one. The boys (including Big Daddy) took me to the beach for lunch on the waterway. They know the best gift to give me (besides their undying love and chocolate ) is beach time. The mountains are fine and… Continue reading Mother’s Day is Not for Everyone. Especially if You Don’t Like Her.
* *This Post is from Gifts.com Blog and they asked me to share with my peeps. So Happy Mother’s Day and enjoy these stories from some really great mom bloggers! ~MidlifeMargaritas Did your child ever say or do something that made you want to crawl under a table and hide? Of course they did! This… Continue reading Hey Mom, Remember When Your Kids Used to Embarrass You When They Were Young?
To the young moms out there. It WILL get better. The struggle is real but you got this. Make #momlife your bitch! Take back your life and still be an awesome mom/wife. So take your laptop or phone with you to the bathroom and lock the door. Let them cry, stick fingers under the door,… Continue reading #MomLife. Make it Your Bitch.
Doing laundry is my all time favorite thing in the whole wide world! Said no mom of a family of all boys ever. I would rather eat a fried rat and a side of snails. Seriously. To you moms of little babies and toddlers, just wait. The clothes piles get bigger and sweatier and weirder… Continue reading Screw You Laundry!
I’m about to get all controversial on y’all. I saw this quote on Instagram not too long ago and I chuckled and thought, “yep, that is so me”. I mean I try not to say swear words but it does happen. I’m not perfect nor do I want to be. That would boring. Right? The first time… Continue reading I Love Jesus But I Cuss a Little
I. Want. A. Cupcake. I realize this is not breaking news and there are all kinds of political and social issues we could poke fun of today. But I can’t even think clearly. My sugar level is so low I feel like I could pass out at any minute. No. I don’t have diabetes and… Continue reading Confessions of a Cupcakeaholic
I know everyone’s been locked out of their house or car but today I was locked INSIDE my house. How did that happen you ask? Well my lovely friends let me tell you. Today I had all kinds of plans. The Hubby needed to get to a physical therapy session and I was headed to… Continue reading Help! I’m Locked INSIDE!
You were so sad and proud the day your child graduated from college. You mourned the child that you once carried around on your hip and now he’s all grown up and headed to college. You get through the first semester with him being gone and find your routine again. Maybe you have another child still at home to fill the void of an otherwise quiet house. Things are going smoothly and you are so excited when your college kid moves back in for the summer. Awesome right?
REALITY. He comes home and turns back into a high schooler and you think, “How the hell did he survive his first year away?” THEN you think, “How the hell am I going to survive this summer?”
Here are 7 Tips to help you make it through till fall:
1. Stock Up On Booze. Unless you are already on anxiety meds. (Do not mix the two, even if tempted). You don’t have to wait till 5 o’clock to have a margarita to relax. Mimosas are a great way to start the day!
2. Set Boundaries. I’ve read that giving your child a curfew again is demeaning as they have been on their own for a year now. To that I say BS. I don’t care if they live 5 years on their own. I need to know that I can go to sleep and I can’t do that until he’s back in the house at night. Also make sure he understands your grocery bill is going up while he’s home and when you buy stuff he had better not eat it all before anyone else has some. His little brother is now taller than him and can whip his butt if all the chocolate milk is gone before he gets any.
3. Laundry. O for the love! Laundry just got real again. Have your college kid do his own laundry and do it AFTER the rest of the family. College kid comes last in line to use the washer. Also, same rules as college apply: if you leave your wash unattended their stuff will be thrown on the floor wet so you can get the other stuff in there.
4. Our House is not a Dorm Room. Yes friends can visit but there is no need to come home from work to 20 guys all over your house eating pizza and playing video games. But they are all welcome to help you do the laundry and clean the kitchen. Hide your booze too.
5. Make Them Get a Job. Don’t let them say it’s their vacation so they should be resting up and relaxing. They need to make money to help cover those groceries and the booze that you drink to help you cope with them being home.
6. Girlfriends DO NOT sleep in the same room when visiting. While it’s all great they have relationships and are trying to figure out what marriage might be like, you are not ready to be a grandparent. That’s a whole different set of tips.
7. Spend Time With Them. Let them know you still love them and want to hang out. Watch Netflix, have cook-outs, go on some trips and have fun. But make it very clear that they have to leave come August and go back to school. Circle of Life peeps, Circle of Life.
Here comes Mother’s Day again. While everyone is out buying cards and flowers and gift cards to the spa for mom, I thought I would post a few tweets in honor of this day. Moms aren’t perfect so I am sure you can relate to some of these:
I’m off coffee. My kid wound up with an empty sandwich in his lunchbox today. No peanut butter. Just bread. He said he cried.
When my kids can’t find their sports water bottles, they take coffee tumblers to practice.
Tucker: My lunch was rotten today.
Me: I didn’t pack you a lunch today
Look in backpack. Find Friday’s moldy lunch.
Thought it was going to be cold today. Put child in warm clothes. Child over heated and puked on playground.
Who else has dropped a phone on a baby tryin to take a pic?
#parentingfails>>> My son found pancakes in the frig. IDK where they came from. I didn’t stop him from eating them because he was quiet…
Just some random internet pics on Motherhood.
If you can’t find humor as a mom/parent then you are doing it all wrong.